nebroska:

nebroska:

does anyone remember the movie where the teenage boy was actually a mermaid or did i hallucinate it

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I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS OH MY GOD

BRUH
—WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY DO I KEEP SAYING IT?? MY MOM TOLD ME TO CLEAN MY ROOM TODAY AND I LOOKED HER STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAID “BRUH” (via isnowfairy)

girlwholovesdragons:

temperamentalheavingheart:

thinkthatthetimehascome:

ianoshea:

jocundasykes:

welcome-foolishmortals:

I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK

ICH WEINE

The one about the dudes penis being stuck is like a poem

THESE TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO GET THROUGH I WAS CRYING AT EACH ONE

this post is terrifyingly funny when your high.

homohotlips69

Holy shit I am dying from laughter

frustrated-fallen-angel:

artsy-fartsy-croat:

"What you lack, is something that cannot be taught."

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"You’re not scary.”

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Well Dean Hardscrabble,

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Bobby from Kansas

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would beg to differ.

BEST POST EVER

jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:

NICKNAMES image

PEOPLE GIVING YOU A NICKNAME image

PEOPLE ALWAYS CALLING YOU BY THAT NICKNAME image

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

» Reblog if you’re unattractive.

internetexplwhorer:

look at the stars, look how they shine for you

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Little Percy expressions

REBLOG | Posted 5 minutes ago With 97 notes + Ori. Via